That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
