You made me cry and you don't even care
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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