piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
