Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
