Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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