Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize