Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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