he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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