you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize