I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
