literally had 100 drinks last night.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
