I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
