I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
