Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
