That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
