I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
