apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
