pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
