Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
