if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
