I accidentally burped into my bong.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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