This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
