But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
