Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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