I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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