I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
