Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
