I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
