What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
