Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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