Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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