8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
