just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
