piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
