Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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