Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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