Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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