We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
