They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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