Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
