Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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