You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
