was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
