i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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