U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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