what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
