Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
