tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
