me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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