Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
