Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
