my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
