dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
