I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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