I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think a kid would responsible me up
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
