My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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