I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
