I smell stomach acid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
