im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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