I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
