I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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