Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
