I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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