ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
