I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
